Marathon for suicide prevention

I have so many words in my head that I don't even know how to write them write down. Did You know in NSW alone, an average of 700 people commit suicide each year. That is 700 more families that have to hear the news that their loved ones have left too soon, 700 more people that have the heart wrenching moment of finding someone who has taken their own life. Over 700 police officers, paramedics, doctors, nurses, emergency call takers, and neighbours/bystanders who will be affected by suicide. The psychologists, social workers and councillors that are there to help support the remaining family and friends back to normality. 

Over 700 friends, family members, colleagues, acquaintances that will ask themselves time and time again what they could have done differently. 

And that's in NSW alone! PER YEAR! That's over 700 TOO MANY! Even 1 suicide would be 1 too many. 

I know that the services in regional areas are hard to find. I know that it's hard to find good help because there really is a quietness when it comes to local mental health assistance. I have attached below some links to help.

The thoughts that the people who are left have will vary, their reactions and their grief will be completely different. But there will be things that they will never understand that will be very similar in nature. 

Was there something else I could have done?

Why didn't I know?

How did I not see the signs?

Why didn't I believe them? 

What could have I had done differently? 

Why didn't I go and see them one more time? 

What was going on that made it get that far?

Could someone else could have helped? 

Why did they do this to themselves?

Why did they do this to us?

What we need to start to understand and what I've learnt that I, myself have to come to terms with, is that once a person has fallen that far into depression, sometimes there is nothing that could have been done. Nothing that could have helped them. 

But what I want to try and help people understand is that there is things we can do before it ever gets that far. To start with, be there for them. Let them know you will always be around no matter how hard it gets. Call them, visit them, and when you can't get there, they will at least know that they can count on you to answer their call. Be supportive. Even when someone might be moaning about how crappy their day has been, again, for the 10th day in a row and you might be over hearing it. Show them that you support them, be that listening ear, that shoulder to cry on. Stay calm & always remember to be kind. You really don't know what battle somebody is fighting in their own mind.

If you know someone who might need some help, but you aren't sure how to approach the situation, you don't know how to ask them if they would like you to help them, call the lifeline hot line below. Someone is always willing to assist you to get them back to health.

If you are someone who is suffering and you don't know where to turn. Please know that you are not weak, you are so strong to have gotten to where you are and you can get better. Life will get better. If you want to talk to someone anonymously, please call the helpline below.

Please don't ever be afraid to speak up. I don't want to see another family suffer through losing someone through suicide. And if you are struggling, I don't want you to have to suffer alone anymore. You are important, you are loved and we do want you here, more than you could ever know. ❤️

LifeLine Australia;13 11 14.

I remember standing at the top of the altar at my sisters wedding, tears running down my face. Partly because I was so proud of her and her very soon to be husband but partly because I was so upset that dad wasn’t there to see this moment. I couldn’t stop the tears flowing. The following day I cried to Dillon and when he asked what was wrong, I explained I just felt so mad. I didn’t want to be mad, but I was just so angry that Dad wasn’t there for it. I was angry that on the happiest days of our lives, there was and probably always will be this dark cloud of pain lingering. I’ve never wanted to be mad for Dad taking his own life, but I’m also not one to not let myself feel emotions that come in waves. 

After getting some Bride & Groom photos done, we were walking back to the venue and I was carrying my niece. In this beautiful green dress, symbolising Dads favourite colour (and because he was born on Saint Patrick’s Day) and she looked me straight in the eyes and said “Aunty Kaiti, I miss my Poppy Mick”. I didn’t know what to say so I just held her while we both cried. Taking into consideration this little girl is only 5 years old at the time. It’s taken me almost a year to write this, because it’s taken me almost a year to process it and understand this as a lesson. My Niece has taught me to keep sharing my story, my emotions and to never be afraid to let people in. This little five year old girl doesn’t really understand the pain she is feeling, but she knows she’s hurting because she misses her Poppy. I feel honoured that she trusts me enough to tell me that. 

I have only ever spoken the words ‘I just miss my Dad’ to my husband whilst sobbing into his shoulder and those words are so hard to say out loud. The moment I say them out loud, it makes the emotion so much louder. 

It’s just so incredibly humbling to be taught such a big lesson from such a small human. I write this as I have tears running down my face from watching a video of my Niece at around 2 years old saying “goodnight Poppy Mick, I love you! See you tomorrow!”. My heart breaks for her watching that. I know how much my heart is broken and the amount of emotions that have taken over my life after my fathers suicide, I just want to protect her from that and take away her pain.